“True friends stab you in the front”
– Oscar Wilde
After we explored the question of why one would want to be a leader in Part 1 of the leadership series “Leadership is Tough,” today we turn our attention to the most important tool available to a leader (and in personal life as well): feedback.
Start with Why (not again Simon!)
So, let's start again. The first question we need to ask ourselves is: "Why do we give feedback at all?" Only after we've clarified that can we discuss the methods and techniques that can help with this and what characterizes effective feedback. To explore the question of why, just take a look out the window.
This window is not just any window; it's the "Johari Window." It was developed during the golden age of human resource management. That's right, I'm talking about the 1950s again. It was created by Joseph Luft and Harrington Ingham, who apparently found it amusing to use the initials of their first names for it. Whatever.
In reality, it is a matrix. We label the X-axis with "Things I know about myself" and "Things I don't know about myself." The Y-axis is divided into "Things others know about me" and "Things others don't know about me."
This gives us four quadrants. In the bottom right is the part that is unknown to both me and you about myself. This area is called "The Unknown," and we will leave it aside for now since it cannot be easily reduced through traditional feedback.
Opposite "The Unknown" is the "Open Area." As you might already guess, this quadrant is the opposite of "The Unknown." It represents all the things that I know about myself and that you also know about me.
In the top right, we find the "Blind Spot." This is a really interesting quadrant because it includes things that I'm not aware of about myself, but that you can observe or know about me.
The last quadrant, in the bottom left, is the "Hidden Area," which is also particularly interesting when it comes to feedback. It represents things that I am aware of about myself, but you do not know.
So, we've defined all four areas of the Johari Window. Now, let's look at how feedback affects these areas and why that is important.
Let's start with my "Blind Spot" and use a fictional example to illustrate it:
I sit in a meeting where you are also present. The topic annoys me, and I become impatient. After a while, I start sighing loudly every few minutes and repeatedly check my phone for the time, without really being aware of it. Eventually, the presenter asks if everything is okay or if I disagree with his presentation. I'm extremely surprised because I haven't said anything for the last interminable 45 minutes! After the meeting, I turn to you and ask how the presenter could think that I disagreed. I ASK for feedback.
Asking other people for honest feedback is a trait of A-players. Top leaders and individuals who want to develop themselves use this simple yet immensely powerful tool. It's important to ask for feedback from people who value honesty over politeness and etiquette—people with whom you have such a good relationship that you can expect them to give you their unfiltered opinion. This feedback represents only the opinion of the other person. It doesn’t have to be correct, but I should be open to it. To solidify this feedback, I seek out multiple people and confront them with my question. If I receive similar feedback from several sides, I, as a self-reflective person, must assume that it is accurate.
We have expanded the "Open Area" and reduced the Blind Spot! If we focus on the "Hidden Area," we can also work on reducing this area and thereby expanding the "Open Area." Another fictional example:
I've been quite unfocused at work lately. I've been making careless mistakes, and on top of that, I'm making sure to leave the office as quickly as possible to finish early. I've also been calling in sick on Mondays a lot recently. You and our other colleagues have noticed this, and it has become a topic of conversation in the break room because you have to cover for me more often or correct my mistakes. This creates tension in the team, and I am increasingly getting sideways glances. One day, I confide in you that I haven't been feeling well because I received a bad diagnosis and have been undergoing intensive medical treatment. I TELL you something about myself that you didn't know before.
We expand the "Open Area" and reduce the "Hidden Area." While it's not guaranteed, the likelihood that you and our colleagues will show me more understanding in the future is significantly higher than it was before.
So, why do we need feedback? Ultimately, to keep the "Open Area" as large as possible. In the Open Area, misunderstandings are minimized, and the potential for team conflicts is the lowest. The Open Area between me and my team is also fundamentally important because it allows me to build genuine understanding, correct misbehavior early, and better evaluate each member's abilities and potential.
In Part 3 of the Leadership series, we'll explore the techniques for giving effective feedback and the fundamental rules to ensure feedback is truly impactful.
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